How Copy Editors Blow Off Steam
Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish…Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.Metrosexual guy: I don’t follow you.Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you...
View ArticleThey Come in Black, Right?
Metrosexual guy: Oh, there were babies everywhere in there.JAP #1: I know, babies are so trendy!JAP #2: I have to get one.–Outside Anthropology, 5th AveOverheard by: population control
View ArticleOr in Your Case, Like Buying Skincare Products
Metro male #1: I was gonna stop smoking…again… But when I take Adderall I smoke a lot more.Metro male #2: What's it like?Metro male #1: Adderall?Metro male #2: Yeah.Metro male #1: It's like being at a...
View ArticleBootylicious Wednesday One-Liners
Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them?–6th Ave & 12thWoman getting on a crowded train,...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners, Now With Delicious Credit Crunch!
Hobo, yelling to crowd: The stimulus plan won't work! The banks have no money! We need to stimulate the banks! You know how? Cocaine and hookers!–53rd st & 5th AveOverheard by: AndrewProfessor: I...
View ArticleDirty Wednesday One-Linering
Tired thug teen, wistfully: I'd dance like crazy in a basement.–R TrainOverheard by: Jon A.Two-year-old boy, pointing at three-month old baby: Isn't that guy in my dance class?–Red Hook,...
View ArticleI Know You're Depressed When You Try to Stab Me
30-something babe, seconds before stop: I'm so happy.40-something metrosexual: I know, it shows.(she gets up)40-something metrosexual: Yeah, when you ignore me on the train it's always a good sign.–F...
View ArticleYou Poor Man
20-something metrosexual: She just uses my penis whenever she wants.Middle-aged man eating eclair: Mmm-hmm.20-something metrosexual: Like, last weekend she used me as a rebound fuck.–Uptown 6...
View ArticleThe Wasteland Of Wednesday One-Liners
Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey.–Port AuthorityOverheard by: Confabulation NationMetrosexual guy: There are two kinds of...
View ArticleWe Can Only Dream They're Talking About Victoria Beckham.
Club boy #1: So you must tell me: how was posh last night?Club boy #2: Oh, I don't know. I'm not really sure what happened, but at some point someone, um, bit my nipple and ever since, it just, um,...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Remember When It Just Meant “Happy?”
Drunk queer: I am not gay! Just remind me of that later.–Bushwick Overheard by: uninvited party guestLemming: Are we still following the Gaylords or are we becoming Independent?–Central ParkOverheard...
View ArticleHow Copy Editors Blow Off Steam
Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish…Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.Metrosexual guy: I don’t follow you.Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you...
View ArticleIt’s Too Hard Pretending to Be Who I Already Am
Metrosexual: Have you gone to that hair salon I told you about?Scruffy artist: I walked by…Metrosexual: It’s beautiful.Scruffy artist: I can’t go in. It’s too hipster.Metrosexual: No! It’s...
View ArticleBootylicious Wednesday One-Liners
Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them?–6th Ave & 12thWoman getting on a crowded train,...
View ArticleI Know You're Depressed When You Try to Stab Me
30-something babe, seconds before stop: I'm so happy. 40-something metrosexual: I know, it shows. (she gets up) 40-something metrosexual: Yeah, when you ignore me on the train it's always a good sign....
View ArticleYou Poor Man
20-something metrosexual: She just uses my penis whenever she wants. Middle-aged man eating eclair: Mmm-hmm. 20-something metrosexual: Like, last weekend she used me as a rebound fuck. –Uptown 6 Train...
View ArticleWe Can Only Dream They're Talking About Victoria Beckham.
Club boy #1: So you must tell me: how was posh last night? Club boy #2: Oh, I don't know. I'm not really sure what happened, but at some point someone, um, bit my nipple and ever since, it just, um,...
View ArticleOr in Your Case, Like Buying Skincare Products
Metro male #1: I was gonna stop smoking…again… But when I take Adderall I smoke a lot more. Metro male #2: What's it like? Metro male #1: Adderall? Metro male #2: Yeah. Metro male #1: It's like being...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Remember When It Just Meant “Happy?”
Drunk queer: I am not gay! Just remind me of that later. –Bushwick Overheard by: uninvited party guest Lemming: Are we still following the Gaylords or are we becoming Independent? –Central Park...
View ArticleThey Come in Black, Right?
Metrosexual guy: Oh, there were babies everywhere in there. JAP #1: I know, babies are so trendy! JAP #2: I have to get one. –Outside Anthropology, 5th Ave Overheard by: population control
View Article
